I heard from someone on the streets talk about New Freedom and I knew it was the best place I could go. Unfortunately, Sunnyslope had me in her grips. For me, it was always jail that allowed me to get far enough away from those bonds that I could start thinking clearly. Clearly enough to consider life outside of what was known and comfortable for me.
by Johann Hari, and it was the revelation I needed to really step up to forge a new path forward in this muck of desperation. In his talk, I learned about rat park – First, he took rats and locked them in solitary isolation giving them two water bottles. One with only water and the other with a mixture of heroin or cocaine and water. Inevitably, in loneliness the rats would become addicted to the drugs and die from eventual overdose. That study was incomplete though. Professor Alexander then created “rat park” as it came to be called, a community of rats with social interaction, activities, warm environment, and of course both water and heroin water. It was found that the rats in rat park didn’t use the heroin cocaine water nearly as frequently and consequently didn’t die from overdose.
I realized I had indeed put myself in a dark cage of isolation with the option of heroin water and it was killing me. If there is any cherry on top of this icing from rat park, it is this: The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it is connection. I ran with that realization and ran with it all the way to New Freedom. I came in with a conviction to be a part of a place that was endeavoring to make changes in our society and reconnect us felons and addicts back to it with a positive energy and focus. However, coming from the streets was not as easy as just walking in.
I had to pass a UA first and although I hadn’t used, the drugs were still in my system for one reason or another and I was referred to a higher level of care. The struggle to find help is very real but I did everything I possibly could to move forward regardless of the circumstances. I earned my spot at New Freedom and was grateful when I got the chance to walk through those doors. Now that I was a member, I understood the fight was not over as I have always battled with myself more than anything else. The connection I was searching for outside of myself had to be earned.
I discovered New Freedom had a vocational training program in commercial painting, and I immediately jumped on that. One day, I was wandering the halls outside of class searching for an AA group, not yet understanding the Power behind the PON meeting. I stumbled into a small meeting called PON Discussion with Brian Reinhart and Wayne Giles. There I found my sponsor Brian who happened to work in media at New Freedom. I had no idea, but this was all God working in my life. I dove deep into the painting curriculum. I was hired on by John M., PHP (vocational facilitator) and I enjoyed helping others learn painting. I started a Facebook group called Friends of New Freedom and I had some talent sharing media. This caught the eye of my sponsor Brian and he offered me an internship in the media department.
It is my lifeline. Thursdays you will find me helping with the Position of Neutrality meeting and Saturdays at Recovery Church. Being connected like this is helping me keep my sobriety as the internship has allowed me to help carry the message. Today, I am honored to be an official New Freedom staff member on the Media Team and am pursuing a career I never thought possible.
