You are worth more than you know

Shannon | Graduated May 2022

With all of my heart, I know that no matter what we have done, where we have come from or what has happened to us, each of us are strong, courageous and worthy individuals.

There was a time I wouldn’t have believed that but I make that declaration with absolute certainty today. It wasn’t long ago that I was sitting inside prison, wondering what is to come with the rest of my life and unsure of my value. Evidence from my past proved that I was prone to doing more harm than good. For those that knew me on the yard know I’m not lying when I tell you, “You can be and do anything you want in this life! Don’t ever allow anyone or anything to make you feel different.” That was the advice I gave to other women because deep down I knew they had an opportunity that perhaps I did not.

I was sentenced to life in prison for my involvement in a senseless, reckless and horrible crime.

For one reason or another I never felt comfortable in my own skin and that started long before prison was even a thought. I think that’s why I loved drugs so much, because when I used them my insecurities didn’t matter. It gave me the confidence and security I lacked but it was only surface level. I still allowed myself to be in abusive relationships and to live homeless. This placed me in dangerous and unthinkable situations. I am no different than anyone else who has found themselves living a life of crime and addiction. The only difference is, on this day, it got completely out of hand. That is my hard truth that I have had to live with and that is why I was sentenced to life in prison.

“I was given love and compassion at the time I needed it most. I graduated New Freedom with tears and joy. I moved back home, got a job, and started living life as a mostly free citizen. I was recently hired with a new employer that allows me to help others and has accepted me for me, including my past.”

Do you think at the start of my sentence I wanted to hear that I was strong, courageous, and worthy?

I did not. I know now, what I didn’t know then which is that God never gave up on me. When the time was right, it was Him that opened my heart…

…I began finding ways to use the time I had been given for good. I changed how I valued myself because I was renewed with a higher purpose. This started with education, discipline, and the process of healing which inevitably allowed me to fulfill my higher purpose, being of service to other women on the yard. The “kids” as I called them were so full of potential and life but couldn’t see their own value. Before I found Power, I was the exact same way. I made it my mission to spread the word that we are all miracles and should treat ourselves and others accordingly.

Late in my sentence I began a legal battle concerning my potential release…

which tested every ounce of my faith. This is a completely separate story in itself but long story short, friends, family, and legal advocates fought for me to have a second chance at life. They fought for me because I took the responsibility of living a life of service seriously. My lawyers recommended that before my parole hearing, I agreed to come to New Freedom. I immediately said no because I was thinking about my family and the things I wanted. This was not the attitude that brought me freedom from myself.

I talked to God, fell asleep, and woke up knowing New Freedom was the answer. I am grateful I made that choice. I had not been thinking, to assume reentering society would be painless. I still had issues that needed to be resolved. They began to resurface being out of my comfort zone which was only in prison. I was given love and compassion at the time I needed it most. I graduated New Freedom with tears and joy. I moved back home, got a job, and started living life as a mostly free citizen. I was recently hired with a new employer that allows me to help others and has accepted me for me, including my past. You are worth more than you may know and I will say again, don’t ever allow anyone or anything to make you feel any differently.